9-1-1 recap: What does one do when the firefighters are all accidentally hopped up on LSD?

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Bobby Nash is The Saddest Man. He’s allowed to be since he’s suffered some unspeakable tragedies, but still, sometimes it’s like, perk up dude — you’re dating Angela Bassett. At the moment though, he’s extra-sad. It is nearing his late daughter Brooke’s birthday — she would’ve been 13 — and it is hitting him hard. He especially feels it while having dinner with Athena and her kids (you guys, they all have dinner together!) and learns that May is getting ready for the upcoming Homecoming dance. He’ll never reach that milestone with his own daughter, and it crushes him. He has to get out of Athena’s house immediately.

So it’s an especially great time for Bobby to have to deal with a nosy traffic reporter trying to make a name for herself and his entire firehouse getting dosed with LSD from “appreciation brownies” left at the station. Yep, that happens. What a world! What a show! Let me explain.

The episode kicks off with a downed traffic chopper. You already know this traffic reporter is terrible before you meet her because she makes a quippy newscaster remark as the helicopter is going down: “Taylor Kelly with your morning traffic update and we are going down!” Why does anyone even want to save this person? I know, I know, it’s their duty, but she is terrible.

She remains terrible even after they save her — there was a crash landing in baseball bleachers, but everyone is totally fine — and she shows up at the firehouse with a camera guy looking to do a story on the unsung heroes of the city. Hen correctly guesses that what Taylor really wants to do is use her new fame as the victim of the helicopter crash to her advantage. Everyone is into it — Buck especially, who can’t stop flirting — except Bobby. He wants nothing to do with her and thinks she’s a distraction. It could be dangerous.

Yet still, Taylor has the permission of the LAFD Chief, so she and her cameraman tag along on actual calls. Like the disgusting one to an exotic animal store where an eating contest is being held and one of the contestants passed out. You’re going to wish they were scarfing down soggy hot dog buns in this contest, but no — it’s bugs. The victim has crickets flying out of his throat. Another contestant passes out once a giant roach-like things start CRAWLING OUT OF HER MOUTH. It is nauseating. Also, please note that this ridiculous call takes place and it is not even the major event of the episode. More important things than gross, giant bugs escaping human mouths happen.

Our intrepid reporter also joins the squad when they get called to a bodybuilding competition. One of the contestants gets stuck in a “double bicep pose” because he’s so dehydrated. He’s basically a human charley horse. And yes, his name is Charlie. Seriously, this show is a treasure.

It’s during this call that Bobby really lets Taylor have it. They need people to trust them, even men with “exploding quads,” and that’s really hard to do when they have a news crew pointing a camera in their faces. Bobby wants nothing to do with Taylor, and so it becomes her new mission to make him talk on camera.

She thinks she has her chance when fresh off stuffing their faces with some fudge brownies delivered to the house — unfortunately (fortunately) Chimney misses out on them — they get a call for paramedics and everyone goes out except for Bobby. Very quickly, it becomes apparent that everyone, except Chim, is high off those brownies. They must have been laced with something. What does Taylor do as she realizes Bobby is out of his mind and hallucinating his dead daughter? SHE HAS HER CAMERAMAN KEEP FILMING. She most certainly does not let someone know that a fire truck just left to go help someone in need and it is full of high firefighters. No, that would be the right thing to do and she is a garbage human.

Thankfully, Athena is already at the call — two pageant moms got into a fight and one ended up with a high heel through her face, also NOT A BIG DEAL — and she sees that Chimney is the only firefighter present who even knows where he is. Although it’s wonderful to see Hen tell Athena that she smells like love, Athena takes charge of the situation.

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