Most of us are just happy with a roommate who’s clean and pays rent on time.
Not this particular renter in London, whose fastidious list of demands for a future roommate has gone viral over the weekend.
The requirements, posted by Twitter user @rxdazn, were originally sent to someone who wanted to check out the available room.
While some of the requests, like following a cleaning roster, are understandable, it’s fair to say most of the demands are asking quite a lot.
Like the first requirement: You’ll have to be out of the house (yes, the one that you live in) from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays.
“I work from home 5 days a week and I need the place to myself. If you have a proper job, this shouldn’t be a problem. Students who go to university on random days for a few hours or stay at home all day long and chill out unfortunately can’t live here,” the post reads.
Here are some other highlights:
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No cooking before 8:30 a.m. and after 11 p.m. Although they’ll occasionally allow it, only for porridge or to use the microwave.
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They “don’t want to hear noise coming from your room all the time.” That ranges from phone calls, to watching movies, to laughing past 11 p.m.
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“If you have to run to the toilet 15 times a day or every 15 minutes, don’t move in here.” Excessive bathroom use is not cool.
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“If all you eat is canned beans and cooked lentils and drink beer, you’re not my kind of flatmate. I need someone a little more sophisticated here.”
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They don’t like someone who spends a lot of time cooking, and people who make elaborate meals or bake aren’t welcome.
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Guests are only occasionally allowed to the house.
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That it’s not a sociable house. No parties, no cooking together, no watching TV together because no one in the house has time to. Still, everyone is expected to be friendly with each other.
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You’re not welcome if you’re the kind of person who spends a lot of time at home: “That’s why you definitely need a full-time job, and if you’re doing some interesting things with your life as well, that’s even better.”
Despite the requests, the renter describes themselves as being “quite easy-going.” The internet didn’t quite agree with that assessment.
This is my favourite part because he thinks the only reason people cook meals is because they don’t know how to make a sandwich
— Soph (@boxedwine_) November 24, 2018
There are no words
It’s the amount of self-contradictions that get me. You gotta have friends and be really interesting… but you can’t actually talk to anyone and we only allow guests max 3 times a week and they have to be people I like etc. etc.
— AubameDan Twining (@GeetawrDan) November 24, 2018
One of the best things about this is that you kinda feel this person getting angrier and angrier the more she’s writing rules.
— Nuno Mendonca (@nuno_kinetic) November 23, 2018
So you can’t in effect make breakfast before 8.30am, but you must be out of the house by 9am?
This guy sounds a dream to live with.
— Lost in Music (@lostinmusicmcr) November 24, 2018
“Hi, I’m looking for someone to silently live in my flat in the evenings, give me money and help me clean and then fuck off for the entire day. If that sounds like your cup of tea, give me a ring.”
Could have saved herself a lot of typing…
— Progressive Snaz (@EmilioSnazz) November 24, 2018
Sounds like a dream house, TBH.
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